How to Be More Outgoing When Traveling
Some travelers actually hate traveling. But they keep doing it anyway.
Or maybe that was a bit click-bait-y. Rather more accurate would be: Some travelers get sick of traveling, but they do it anyway.
I meet a lot of them.
I’ve met backpackers who are my age (in their thirties) who said they were sick of traveling, but they just didn’t know what else to do.
Mostly they were single women. They found it hard to travel alone, to not have a partner with them.
I also met digital nomads who said they felt so lonely that travel turned out to be so disappointing they constantly fantasized about quitting and going home.
I’ve read tons of posts in solo female travel groups where women are anonymously posting that they can’t meet people, they feel awkward traveling alone, and they’re thinking about cutting their trip short because of it. Every post gets hundreds of comments with others saying they are/have been in the same boat.
So why is it so hard for so many people to travel alone?
I think it boils down to 2 main things.
People don’t know what they actually like to do, and how they like to do it, outside of what online resources and guides say is best.
When I first left to travel in 2018, I also didn’t know what I liked or what I wanted, so I obviously consorted with the internet to see what people recommended to do in Barcelona (that was my first destination).
I honestly spent a couple weeks there pretty bored.
I went to look at all the famous sights, and occasionally chatted with the owner of my Airbnb. Got hit on in awkward ways by her cousin. Downloaded Tinder and went out with a guy I didn’t really like a couple of times. Went to the beach and couldn’t swim because I was too scared my stuff would get stolen while I was in the water.
So I decided Barcelona wasn’t for me.
I got on the train and went all the way to the north of the country, to A Coruña. I don’t know why I went there. I just had the idea and I followed it.
That’s where I heard about the Camino de Santiago for the first time. I hiked a portion of it and had a blast. I had a little notebook with me on the hike, and wrote a poem about an abandoned building on the path. I got lost on my way back and had to satisfy my hunger with some potato chips from a convenience store because nothing else was open after dark by the time I found my way.
It was a blast.
That’s when I discovered I really prefer small towns to big cities, and doing outdoor stuff in nature over sightseeing.
I got really into drawing at the time, and whenever I sat alone in a cafe or restaurant, I would practice by sketching people I saw from my corner in the back of the shop.
I decided to rent a car in Braga when I made my way down to Portugal, and did a road trip all the way down the country. One of the best nights was sleeping in my car on the beach when I didn’t feel like looking for a hotel.
Most people online aren’t telling you to do things like this when you travel.
All the blogs and vlogs give you a list of things you need to go see and places you need to visit, while the hostels tape up flyers for their tours they want you to participate in. And while some people fit in well with that, it just doesn’t go over as well for others.
That’s when you have to discover things for yourself. Have your own original ideas.
The other reason is…
People don't know how to connect with each other
In hostels it’s obviously easy to meet people, but not everyone wants to stay in hostels.
Personally I detest the shared bunk beds with loud snorers, horny twenty year-olds, and the stinky smell of multiple unwashed bodies. Besides, hostels almost never allow cats in the dorms anyway.
So I made myself become more outgoing.
In Granada, I saw a girl taking a selfie in front of a building and I offered to take the photo for her. Then we started chatting and spent the rest of the day together.
That became my go-to “move” and turned out to be a great way to meet people.
In Zagreb, I was walking down the street with a Canadian guy in a backward’s baseball cap, and he would just call out to people he heard speaking English and strike up a conversation with them.
So in Timişoara, I walked around the main square in the evening, I started approaching people, asking, “Do you speak English?”
Some of them looked a little weirded out by it, but then this one couple was really excited to meet me and they showed around the city for the rest of the evening.
Once, I got abandoned by my friends at a festival after dropping acid. My “Do you speak English” move had me dancing with different groups of strangers and having the time of my life all night long.
Now, one of my favorite ways to meet people has become visiting not-so-visited places like countries like Afghanistan or Pakistan, or stopping in small, rural cities and villages, like when I was driving and camping along Turkey.
Nothing like placing your physical body in a location where it drastically stands out to get people curious and initiating conversations with you.
I wrote a memoir about this, by the way! It's all about my overland journey, driving from Serbia to Vietnam. Check it out here.
It’s easier to hide behind labels like, “I’m an introvert” or “I just like to observe,” but really all we’re doing is avoiding the vulnerability of putting ourselves out there.
If you want to connect with people, you have to initiate conversations. Even if it’s something simple or seemingly uninteresting - because you can’t think of something better to say.
“How do you get invited to do so many things by local people?”
A fellow digital nomad asked me this a while back. Because for me, what I love the most about traveling is simply walking along the streets and having local people shout hello and invite me for a cup of tea or a meal.
Then I get to ask them questions about their life and learn all sorts of things about the culture.
My friend said, “I love tea! What are you doing that gets you so many invitations?”
So I retraced my steps and thought about how I walk down the streets.
Basically, I just walk around with a pleasant look on my face and make eye contact with people.
Revolutionary, isn’t it?
And yet, it actually is revolutionary! Most people are too afraid to make eye contact with fellow humans in the street.
Hell, most people are too afraid to even say hello to their neighbors.
I can remember walking around campus at my university and feeling baffled at how many people in my school would avert their eyes when I crossed their path. Everyone pretends they don’t even see each other.
That’s what I love about visiting non-western countries. In western countries, people see someone different than them, someone who doesn’t “belong.” They try to pretend they haven’t seen them. They avert their eyes, and maybe go home and tell their wife about whatever out-of-place person they saw that day.
In Asia, people are more innocent. They’re surprised to see you, and they’re happy to see you. It’s very common to have people shouting out a big “Welcome!” Or trying out an English phrase or two on you.
After spending so much time there, I’ve learned to bring some of that friendliness and curiosity back to European countries to use in my interactions here as well.
Oh, and I pray to Venus that I’ll be magnetic to new friends and romances.
When I’m on the road, I always start the day by praying to Venus to let me attract the people who want to help me and wish me well, and to repel those who don’t.
It’s my ritual, and I swear by it. As the goddess of love, she’s known for helping people with that magnetic attraction that draws people to you.
I write all this because it doesn’t only apply to traveling.
We all want to be more deeply connected to other humans in our lives, no matter where we are or what we’re doing in life.
If you would love to feel more confident to reach out to people in your life - romances, friendships, family, etc.,
I can help you with that in my hypnosis and coaching the subconscious mind.
Yes, you can change your identity from “shy” or “introverted,” to become outgoing, welcoming, and the kind of person that magnetizes others to you.
Come book a session with me here and you’ll see how well this works!
We can take the moments when you used to feel shy, awkward, or self-conscious → And change them so you feel confident, connected, and bold.
You can also read my book: Overcome Fears to Do Courageous, Outrageous Things!
It's full of highly practical mind tools to get over fears and go out live the life you've been fantasizing about. These come from my14 years as a solo traveler. as well as 7 years working with mind - as a coach, hypnotist and marketer. >>> Download the book right here.
About Me
I'm Mia Kercher, and I'm a Hypnotist & Coach of the Unconscious Mind
I got into the world of personal development several years ago when I hit rock bottom in my life. My relationship was a disaster, and it felt like I'd tried everything you could possibly try to have a great life (travel, adventure, romance, education, art...everything) but I STILL wasn't happy.
Regular therapy for 2 years helped me, but I'd hit a wall. Things weren't really progressing, and I still didn't have a grasp on my purpose or really finding joy out of life.
Then I discovered coaching, hypnosis, and magic. These gave me tools to ACTUALLY change the things I didn't like in my life. They gave me connection to Life, to something bigger than me, and got me passionate again.
I'd love to help you find this too.
